Dear Lydia

From my tumblr archives, to Lydia Bennet, of the Lizzie Bennet Diaries, after things go poorly with George Wickham (x):

My dear Lydia,

I hate that I'm having to write you a letter instead of having this conversation face to face. I want nothing more than to be able to rush to your side and laugh and cry and hug and just be there with you and for you. But unfortunately circumstances are such that I can't be there with you, so this letter will have to serve in my absence.

I don't even know how to start. I can't believe that George did this to you, I can't believe that anyone would do this to anyone, and I don't want to believe anyone would do it to you. I wish that friends could protect friends from all the hurts and pains in the world. I wish that I could make it so this had never happened.

I know that you've been afraid to love and let people love you, Lydia. It's a scary and frightening and vulnerable thing, and I know that things with your sisters and things with other people in your life hasn't always encouraged you to feel safe to open up. But I watched your vlogs with George, and I want you to know something... I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud and blown away with your courage and strength to be honest and real with yourself and with someone else. I saw the Lydia that I've always known is there. A Lydia who I've seen before, every now and then when you let down your guard, who loves and cares deeply. The Lydia who cheers up a little boy who's feeling left out from his brothers, the Lydia who rushes in to cheer up her sister when her best friend leaves. You have such a lovely, sweet heart, and you so often keep it hidden.

There's something that I want you to know, that I need you to know Lydia. A truth that I feel compelled to impress upon you. A truth that you may not believe right now but a truth I hope you come to see brightly and clearly, that you can hold on to tightly.

The only person at fault in the situation with you and George was George. You did nothing wrong. Nothing. Do you hear me, Lydia? If I was there right now, I would make you say it out loud, but I'll just have to trust you're reading and you're listening. You did nothing wrong.

You opened yourself up and you let yourself love someone, and let someone love you, all of you, even the parts of you you were scared to show anyone. That is not wrong. That is brave. That is amazing. That is the scariest thing that we can do as humans, and you did that. It's beautiful and wonderful and I am so so proud of you.

You did nothing wrong. It is not your fault that George decided to take advantage of that. It is not your fault that George was not as brave as you, as courageous as you.

George is a coward, and a fool. He could have had your love, and instead he chose to run away and try to manipulate your love into some sort of sick joke. That's on him.

I wish that he hadn't been. I wish that he had been willing to brave the greatest and scariest journey a human can go on- the journey of learning to love and be loved- fully, openly, completely. I wish that the same way I wish everyone would be willing to go on that journey.

Also, Lydia, maybe more importantly, most importantly.... you aren't just good enough for George. You are definitely MORE than good enough for George. And you are more than good enough for my love, for so many people's loves. In fact, you don't even HAVE to be good enough. That's not the point. I hope you know that's not the point. That's not how love works. I don't love you because you meet some sort of standards. I hope you don't love me because I meet some set of standards- because I will always let you down, and you will always let me down. I don't love you because of any set guidelines you've met, I love you because. Because I do. Because I've decided to. I will always love you, I will never stop loving you, no matter what you do. I love you. Period. Full stop. End.

There are some unique things about you that I value, and I want to remind you of those... you are a beautiful and wonderfully spirited friend. You have a glowing energy that always brightens my day, you can always make me laugh and smile. You have a sweet, tender heart. You truly care about other people, and you would do anything for the people you love. You remind me that I need to loosen up and relax sometimes. You remind me not to take myself too seriously. You have a contagious spirit and a contagious heart full of love.

I know you might not feel it right now, but I know you're going to come out of this even stronger and more beautiful than you already are. And that's saying something, because you're already incredibly strong and beautiful.

But know that it's okay to be sad. It's okay to be upset, and it's okay to miss George. Or to be mad at him. Or to feel however you want to feel, however you need to feel. In fact you might feel a lot of conflicting feelings all at the same time. That's okay. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. He meant something to you, and that is a good thing. It's never bad to love another person. And it's always painful to have that love end, however it does. You are missing what was, and what could have been. And it's okay to miss that. You're mad about what he threw away, about the confidences he broke, and you should be.

Feel whatever you need to feel, Lydia, and don't be afraid to open up to the people around you. So many people love you. I love you. I wish I could be there with you now. I hope you know that whatever you need, I am always here for you however I can be. I'm here to listen, I'm here to distract, I'm here for whatever you need.

I can't wait to see you again. I can't wait to see where you go from here. I know you're going places, and I know you'll always cause a stir ;) There is truly no one like you, and there would be such a huge hole in my life without you as a part of it. I feel so fortunate to have met you, to have gotten to know you. I am so thankful for our friendship.

Love you always,

Erin