So close, yet so far.

With fall break so close, I'm having a hard time feeling any real motivation to work right now. Even though I have a revalidation tomorrow I need to practice for, and another validation on Friday that technically, we haven't really been taught- i learned the basics of it in practice lab last night. I suppose I'll practice after I finish this post... and then... I think I'll watch the office or gossip girl. Because I had three tests at the beginning of the week, and passes pharmacology, and I think with the amount of studying I did for that, that deserves a prize. Slash, I'm ready for break and too impatient for it. That's the curse of breaks, isn't it?

See, if I was being really productive, I would work on my care plan some now, so I'd have less work after the break. But that would involve me being motivated... *sigh* alas, alack, I find I am not.

I really enjoyed my community clinical today. It was at an eating disorder day program- they come in from 8:30-4, but go home at night. We sat in on different therapy sessions, and after lunch, we got to sit in with art therapy, which was really cool. It felt a lot more... positive, optimistic, hopefuly than the hospital. It felt like progress was being made and they had somewhere to go, something they were working for and they were on their way to it. And Valerie and I kept looking at each other during stuff they were talking about that both of us totally do. Just with thoughts, etc. I would have liked to engage more with the patients, but we're really only there to observe, so I never know whether I should or not and such. It is weird just sitting there listening, when so often I wanted to say "me too!" or "oh, i know!" or just anything. Like, I feel like there was no way for my to communicate to them that I totally understood and empathisized with them, and was so encouraged to hear them talking about their hope for the future and stuff, and that I wasn't sitting there thinking they were a freak or something. If I was in that position, and some random nursing student was observing me, I think I'd be placing all these negative thoughts in their brain about myself. Because I do that in general with life...

But anyway, I enjoyed it more than the hospital, at least for psych stuff, because in psych the hospital is more for stabilization so that you can be moved into a program like that, it's not really where the bulk of the healing happens. I think I'm going to a support group tonight, too, so that should be interesting.

Pray for my revalidation tomorrow! and the one on Friday. Pray that I stay really really sterile. Or at least really observant of when I've broken it, and that I have confidence.